Deck of Cards
by Dozen and One Stars
Summary: Summery Ch 3: When looking at certain people certain questions come to mind that have two very different and possibly volatile answers: pregnant or big? Masculine woman or enffeminate man? Gay or European?
1. Survival of the Fittest

Chapter One: Survival of the Fittest

Disclaimer: I do not own Eyeshield 21.

Summery: It was inevitable; every male participated in this conversation at least once in their life.

Characters Involved: Most of the Deimon football team.

Other Comments: This was inspired by my brothers and the Red v. Blue episode _Planning To Fail_. Also I've decided to make this collection of strange one shots as a fun side project where I can come to work out my occasional writer's black. Enjoy!

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It was a rare moment of tranquility in the devilbat's clubhouse. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. It was truly the perfect day. There was no practice, the girls had gone on an errand run: taking Taki with them because his sister didn't trust him not to make an idiot of himself, and the boys found themselves enjoying some quality male bounding time that didn't involve training, football, and kicks in the rear. Their conversations ranged from their next game to girls to movies. But soon enough they were caught up in the topic that all males find themselves voicing an opinion in at least once in their lives.

"Hey." Yukimitsu looked up from the book he was reading to find that Kuroki had taken a pause in his video game and was staring at him with a serious look on his face. Once he was sure he had the brainy player's attention the dark haired hah brother continued. "What's your zombie plan?"

"What?"

"Your zombie plan." Seeing that his teammate had no idea what he was talking about the fish lipped teen attempted to explain himself further. "You know, when the zombies take over the world. You're a smart guy. So what's your plan?"

The blank look his face indicated that he had no plan.

"You have to have a zombie plan!" Kuroki dropped his controller. "Cause if you don't have one then you're going to be dinner. Take me for example. I'm jumping on my bike and locking myself in the mall. That way they won't be able to get in, I'll have plenty of supplies, and I can escape through the roof when the rescue team comes via helicopter."

The boy who had yet to be given an actual position on the team tried to keep his response as nice as he could. "I don't have one and I don't think any one besides you had one either."

To his shock and confusion the other male didn't take offense. Instead he turned his head to he could face his comic reading friend. "Togano!" When he didn't respond the game playing teen threw a football at his foot. "Hey!"

"What?!" He wasn't too happy about being interrupted before he could see how the fight turned out.

Though his friend completely ignored his irritation and went on talking anyway. "What's your zombie plan?"

"You know mine already!" This time he found the football in his gut instead of his foot. "Ow! All right. I've got this sweet hading place in my house that only I know about and there's only one way in. I've got all my supplies up there and once I'm up, I'm destroying the exit. I should be good for a month or two."

"Until you run out of food." Jumonji spoke up from his corner where he was shuffling a deck of cards. "Then you're screwed."

Togano ignored the comment as he turned the page. "Well what are you going to do when then day comes where we're completely taken over by the army of the undead? Do you even have a plan?"

"A zombie plan? No." Before the sunglass wearing delinquent could retort the leader of the three continued. "I have twenty three different plans."

Kuroki let out a low appreciative whistle. "Impressive. What about you pipsqueaks?" The running back and receiver glanced up from where they were engrossed in an American comic book they had found lying around. "What are you guys going to do when the earth is completely taken over by the zombie invasion?"

The two glanced at each other before answering.

"Alaska."

The three teammates often mistaken for brothers nodded. Jumonji looked over to their line captain and his little buddy. "How about you guys? You going to Alaska too?"

Their small teammate rival made some sort of a grunting noise. In response they looked to Kuirta for a translation. "His family owns plenty of warehouses full of all sorts of supplies and their all connected by hallways. His father's workers and families would find out their and blockade the doors and windows with their trucks." He paused in his explanation when the lineman made another grunt. "We're invited to stay."

The other members gave their thanks.

"How 'bout you, Musashi?" Monta couldn't help but ask. "What are you going to do?"

The older kicker didn't bother looking up from his newspaper. "Nothing."

The monkey like receiver looked shocked. "Nothing?!"

"Nothing." Musashi repeated as he turned the page to continue his article. "I'm going to sit here, sit back, and relax."

"That's it?! You're not even going to fight back?!" Kuroki cursed as his player died on the television screen. Damn that calm gramps with his distracting calmness.

He took a drink from his coffee mug. "That's right."

"Why?!"

He jerked his thumb to his right where Hiruma was busy cleaning out some of his higher caliber firearms. ''Cause this guy will be outside blasting and burning everything that moves." Folding up his paper he picked up his coffee and headed for the door, pausing in the frame. "Besides he has an underground arsenal on campus and he always has at least twenty different solutions rolling around in his head at any given time. Later."

With that the kicker left, an eerie silence falling over the room. During this time all the players looked over at their quarterback, who had a manic grin on his face as he lifted his now sparkling clean weapons up in his hands.

"I'm coming here." Yukimitsu broke the tension as he decided on his zombie plan.

The rest of the team mumbled their agreement.

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	2. Little Black Rain Cloud

Chapter Two: Little Black Rain Cloud

Disclaimer: I do not own Eyeshield 21.

Summery: Sometimes the thing you need the most comes from the most unlikely source.

Characters Involved: Wakana, Ikari, and brief appearances from other members of the Ojo football team.

Other Comments: This was actually greatly brought on by a fanfiction story I read called _Hug Me,_ a very well written story by Sunruner. You should read it if you get the chance. Not quite sure how I did with the character Ikari but I hope he's okay. I find his character as a great source of entertainment.

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It was destined to be one of those days where nothing in particular was wrong but you couldn't help but feel as if a little back rain cloud was following you. That was the kind of day Wakana was having.

She wasn't particularly angry or sad just... gloomy. It was like this weight was on her shoulders and this fog of weariness had surrounded her. As she went through her school day on autopilot, she could feel her unexplainable depression deepen. She had hoped that football practice would lift the cloud a little. With an luck she would be able to busy herself with her work and distract herself from her downcast daze. She had no such luck.

Sitting on the side lines with the coach and Ikari, who was attempting to gnaw through his chains at this point, she couldn't help but let out a heavy sigh. It was times like these that she wished she had more female friends, like the cheerleader and manager from the devil bats. They would have noticed her low spirited behavior and talked to her. They might have even given her a hug. She gave another heavy sigh as she turned her attention from the field to the bright blue sky. That's what he needed. A hug. Too bad her chances of getting one were slim to none. She doubted any of the guys would volunteer one up, they barely even spoke to her, and she sure wasn't going to ask one of them.

So, she supposed, in the end she was doomed to her gloomy little black rain cloud and no hug day.

Ikari had been an excited ball of adrenaline as he watched the other players practicing on the field while simultaneously trying to chew through his chains. The team was jogging in for the end of practice speech when his attention was diverted by a soft sigh coming from his right. Curious he turned his head to find their manager looking at the sky with an air of disappointment about her.

His eyes narrowed. That wasn't right. She shouldn't be looking so sad. True he didn't know much about her but she was a part of the Ojo football team and that was enough of a reason for him to act. Concentrating everything he had into his arms he broke free of the layers of metal chains that had been wrapped around his body and rushed at the unsuspecting manager.

Wakana was harshly brought out of her daze at the sound of people yelling and calling her name. Returning her gaze back to the field, she found herself rather confused as the entire white knights team were running at her and looking rather panicked as they shouted her name. Somewhere in the chaos she heard someone shout out Ikari and she turned her head only to find said boy running straight for her.

With a startled squeak she shut her eyes and braced herself for the sure to be impact.

Instead of feeling the hard ground rushing up to meet her like she expected she felt comforting warmth surround her. Puzzled she opened one eye to find herself staring at a familiar piece of white fabric. Upon opening her other eye she looked up to find that the one and only Prison Chain Ikari was giving her a hug. She didn't respond for a moment out of shock but once that wore off she smiled and returned the embrace, already feeling the cloud being lifted and the sun shining through.

Though the moment was broken seconds later when a passerby carelessly let out a whistle and a crude remark which made Ikari break the embrace and run to tackle the guy at full force. He was effectively stopped and dragged back by Otorawa while getting lectures and warnings from various other members of the team. So he was rather shocked when he felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around his neck in a small hug.

Memntarily pausing in his attempts to struggel free he looked over his shoulder to find that it was Wakana who was looking slightly embarrassed but much happier.

"Thank you."

And while the rest of the team stared on with baffled amazement, Wakana returned to her manager duties with a small smile on her face, and Ikari was beaming in pride at the praise he had received.

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	3. The Ever Elusive Question

Chapter Three: The Ever Elusive Question

Disclaimer: I do not own Eyeshield 21.

Summery: When looking at certain people certain questions come to mind that have two very different and possibly volatile answers: pregnant or big? Masculine woman or enffeminate man? Gay or European?

Characters Involved: Natsuhiko Taki, Anthony Reeves, Brian Adams, Jimmy Simard, Nathan Smith, Oscar Wilde

Other Comments: I found an Ouran amv with the song There! Right There! [aka Gay or Eurpoean?] from Legally Blonde The Musical. After watching/listening to it a million times I decided it was my new motivation to update this particular collection of stories. This one kind of ran away with me. Not sure how much sense it makes but I like it, in a wierd sort of way.

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It was easily the most exciting, wonderful, emotional roller coaster day in any of their lives. In celebration they had all decided to go out for the biggest self-congratulatory dinner any of them had ever had. Unfortunately most of them were fairly broke, some of them went home to spread the good news to their families, and then there were the ones who were simply anti-social. Fortunately there were several of them who were willing to splurge, were not married, and had no problems going out to eat with people they didn't know well at all.

Five of them actually: Brian Adams, Anthony Reeves, Jimmy Simard, Nathan Smith, and Oscar Wilde. Although Nathan had to leave by seven to pick up his girlfriend from work. There was also Brian who needed a ride and Anthony who only had five bucks and a Canadian nickel on him.

Thus they found themselves settling for a local dining favorite that was only a ten minute walk from the stadium. Twenty minutes later they found themselves all seated and scarfing down hot wings with soda, all they could really afford on a spur of the moment meal. Though Jimmy had been ecstatic enough to order several orders of onion rings and cheese sticks on him.

This was rewarded by Brian giving his new found friend, and ride, a friendly swat on the arm.

"YEOWCH!"

Unfortunately for poor Jimmy Simard it was his injured arm. Thus he was blindsided by an unbelievable amount of pain before it dulled into sharp stabbing burn until it settled into a throbbing ache. This, of course, caused the table to burst into uproar. It was a strange mix of laughter, concern, and attempting to convince Brian that he didn't break the one guy nice (and rich) enough to buy them all deep fried appetizers. Then they had to convince the flustered restaurant manager that nothing was wrong and that they were sorry they'd be quiet please don't us out. Fifteen minutes later it was all resolved, nothing left but some left over snickering and several wings.

"Hey, what'd you guys think of that guy?" Oscar decided to strike conversation first.

Brian looked confused. "What guy?"

"You know. That guy." Oscar could clearly see that they did not, in fact, know. He foundered for a few moments trying to explain before giving up on words. With a pained sigh he got up out of his chair. Stepping back so he had enough room, he kicked his fight leg as high up as he could get it before striking a pose that made him look like he was hold a non-existent jacket open.

Anthony thumped his fist into his other hand in sudden realization. "Oh you mean the gay guy!"

"Gay?" He got some weird looks from some of the other members at the table. Oscar in particular was staring at him like he had grown a second head and had been the one to verbally protest his theory as he settled back into his seat. "He wasn't gay."

Now it was Anthony's turn to look like his teammate had grown a second head. His eyes widened in complete disbelief before hardening into deep rooted suspicion. He fixed the other man with a pointed stare. "Were we looking at the same guy? Blond? Leather jacket? Seemed to twirl and sparkle a lot? 'Cause yeah. He was totally gay."

Oscar seemed personally insulted by this statement. "He was not!"

"Of come off it!" Anthony flung his hands into the air and narrowly avoided smacking Jimmy right in the face. "What rock have you been living under? Dude was totally batting for the other team!"

It was at this point that Brian decided to chime in. "Wouldn't it be the same team?"

Anthony almost gave himself whiplash turning to the new speaker in complete disbelief and astonishment. "What? No! The same team?"

Brian seemed very serious about this line of questioning. "Are we on this team?"

Anthony, on the other hand, looked like he wanted out of the conversation. Now. "Yes. No. I don't know! Probably."

Now he was just terribly confused, which he announced promptly with his facial features fixed in a semi-permanent state of bafflement.

Nathan threw in his two sense. Partly because he was feeling a little left out. Partly because he felt he had something to contribute to the current debate. But mostly he didn't want to get sucked into a conversation about whether the team was an other or the same. The whole thing was just ridiculous. "I personally though he was European, not gay."

"What?" This got Anthony to furrow his eyebrows.

Which just caused Nathan to shrug casually. "Seriously. He obviously wasn't from the states. He had that accent, he's all touchy feely, and I'm pretty sure his legs were shaved."

"And what of those things means he's not gay?" The expectant look on Anthony's face rankled Nathan. he wasn't sure what it was about that expression but he somehow felt he was being made to look like a fool. "'Cause I'm pretty sure you just defined the word gay."

"I got to side with Smith on this one." A clear defined voice interrupted his thought before he had a chance to make a witty comeback. Oscar jerked his thumb in said person's general direction. "They do stuff different over there. Just cause he's different and a little... quirky doesn't mean the guy likes other guys in that way."

Anthony slammed his drink onto the table. "Quirky? Quirky? The man's practically flaming and you go with quirky?"

"Guys?" Jimmy's voice didn't even register as a sound amidst their heated discussion.

Voice loud and sure in a way that only someone who believed what they were saying was 100% true, Nathan leaned across the table for a stare down. He knew what he was talking about it dammit! And Anthony was going to cave if it took all night to do so. "I'm telling you my sister married a European! He's chill and all but he definitely has a different way of doing things. For one their soccer shorts and swimwear is practically indecent. I swear I died a little inside the first time we went swimming together."

"Guys." Speaking up and waving his hand a little, Jimmy tried once again to gain their attention.

Only to fail miserably as proven by the fact that Anthony barreled right over what he was trying to say with a loud, "But did you see the way he moved? And his jacket! He kept opening up his jacket like he was trying to flash someone! There's no way in fucking hell he's anything but gay!"

"Guys!" Four sets of eyes immediately focused on Jimmy, who gave a considering shrug of his shoulders. "Can't he be both?"

The statement took a moment to sink in.

Anthony gave him this weird flabbergasted look and said, "Gay-"

"-And European?" Oscar finished dubiously.

They all seemed to ponder this for a moment before simultaneously taking a swing of their drinks and trying to flag down the waiter for the bill.

Nobody even wanted to attempt that line of conversation.


End file.
